ITS KILLING ME

i dont know what's wrong wit me...what i know is tat i REALLY HATE this feeling..how can i ever describe this feeling. its really killing me... kenapa nie tasha....!!!! YA ALLAH, y this feeling? y? i tot i will never experience it again..i cant believe its haunting me back. is this KARMA?

what are you!! i dont like this so called unstable mood n feeling. damn it. plis....im not mad at anyone,angry or anything.yeah maybe this is what i've been going through..BREAK DOWN. even an luxury expensive machine can break down how come i didnt stand a chance to accept tat im going through BREAK DOWN?

what i can say now is that, I WANNA CRY SO BAD...REALLY BAD! even now..my tears r falling.. i need my best fren so bad so i can cry on her shoulder. i wan my hana..she can make me smiles in seconds. i wanna hang out n sleep over wit all my cronies. chatting,putting mask on each other, gossiping about our love life, play a cathcy song n dance till we drop.
I ADMITTED I AM A WOMEN TAT CANT STAND A TINY LONELINESS......its not an easy confession to be made by a women itself. but tats doesnt mean tat i am an attention seeker but i've always need that SOMEONE. i dont wan to be the one that cry the loudest,i hate being alone. ALONE where u feel all the silent. silent kills me because it scream the truth...

when loneliness appears, the only thing i want to do sooo bad is get myself busy doing things i dont even wanna remember, doing things that can make my this annoy feeling go away, make things tat i will regret in my future,make things tat i dont even like n after all tat stupid actions..i will realize i've affected all the people around me.im sorry if this BEHAVIOUR is going to be a constant BEHAVIOUR u will have to handle in future. the blame is on me.

i think there more than life than just chasing all this these temporary HIGH to satisfied me. im sorry for all this mess confused unmoral confession post....it happened all the time. i dont have the strenght to control over it n it goes the other way round.



i wish i am not natasha lai. yea.i mean it. i wish no one know me n loves me coz by the end of the day i know i will only break their heart.